Comical Chronicles

Stories of humor, resilience, and humanity from women navigating cancer on their own terms.

Don’t Grim Reap Me!

And then that dreaded moment arrived, where my oncologist pronounced, “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing more we can do for you.” I sat there bleary-eyed and speechless. My body became rigid, as every cell in my body screamed, “This is NOT the end of the road for me!” There were no suggestions made for next steps, just a hushed good-bye. A few weeks later, I received a phone call from hospice. Again, my body revolted. Although I politely thanked them for the call, I said that I would not be needing their services. 

Time to explore Plan B, which I had to manifest, pronto! I was only 44, having always been healthy, fit, and strong as an ox. But I was facing my second round of colon cancer within six months and a new diagnosis of pancreatic cancer.

With no time to waste, I sent out an email blast to everyone I knew asking them if they had any connections within the medical community—because everybody knows somebody. Within 24 hours, I had the name of a gastroenterology surgeon at one of the Bay Area’s most prestigious hospitals. 

Unfortunately, after sending the surgeon my medical records and then meeting with him in person, the hospital with which he was affiliated ultimately decided that my situation presented too much of a liability.

Not worth the risk? I beg to differ!

Luckily, I am married to a Canadian and qualify for Canadian healthcare. So the following week, I found myself in the leading oncology medical center in Toronto, awaiting surgery on both my colon and pancreas. My team of doctors in Canada were mortified that my doctors in California had given up on me and assured me that they have a high rate of success performing multiple surgeries on people whose cancer has metastasized. 

Fast forward. My surgery was a huge success. Both tumors were removed with clean margins. Within weeks after my surgery, I was almost back to my old self again—cooking, hiking, sailing, and incredibly grateful to be alive.

Next stop: Canadian chemo!

Lesson learned: If anyone ever tells you that you’re out of options, summon up the strength to prove them wrong.

—Kelli

Jennifer Omholt is the author of Just Diagnosed: A Survivor’s Guide to Navigating Cancer. A longtime journalist and 24-year cancer survivor, she writes about the emotional, practical, and medical challenges faced during the critical first weeks after diagnosis.