Comical Chronicles

Stories of humor, resilience, and humanity from women navigating cancer on their own terms.

She’s Gotta Have It 

I was on my way to a follow-up appointment with my plastic surgeon after my reconstructive tram flap surgery.  It was around the holidays and I was feeling a little blue. So I decided to add a little glamour to my day by pulling out my opal and diamond ring. As beautiful as it is, I almost never wear it because it’s so “bling.” 

When my plastic surgeon stepped into the room, she acknowledged me, then her eyes darted over to my ring.  With mouth open and eyebrows raised, she grabbed my finger and said, “I LOVE that ring!” And I said, “Yeah? I hardly ever wear it.”  She said, “That’s way better than the one my boyfriend bought me,” at which point she showed me the opal ring that she was wearing.

Anyway, she kept going on about my ring and how much she loves opals. So I suggested that she try it on. She hesitated because she thought it would never fit. “I have really big hands,” she insisted, convinced that it was a long shot. But, as luck would have it, I have really big hands, too.

So she tried on the ring and it fit perfectly.  She was so thrilled that she immediately called in one of her nurses and said, “Look at this ring!”

 At this point, I said, “If you like it so much, you can wear it for the holidays because I’m just going to throw it back in my drawer anyway.”  She thought for a minute, then dismissed the notion, worried that she might lose it. My response was, “Oh well, if you lose it, we’ll just take it out in trade.”

 That’s when she stopped dead in her tracks.  “You want to trade?” she asked with a sparkle in her eye.

“Yeah!” I said in disbelief.  “What do you want to trade?” she asked. 

 There I was, standing in front of a renowned plastic surgeon who was asking me what I wanted to trade!

 So, without a moment’s hesitation, I said “My neck and my eyes.”

 “Done!” she said. So that’s what we did. She enhanced my neck and my eyes at the same time that she did my revision. That way, I didn’t have to pay for the anesthesiologist or the other costs that typically accompany a surgery.

 I’m thrilled. She’s thrilled. And she wears that ring every single day. 

—Ty H.

Jennifer Omholt is the author of Just Diagnosed: A Survivor’s Guide to Navigating Cancer. A longtime journalist and 24-year cancer survivor, she writes about the emotional, practical, and medical challenges faced during the critical first weeks after diagnosis.