Comical Chronicles

Stories of humor, resilience, and humanity from women navigating cancer on their own terms.

The Well-Intentioned Contraption

Every morning was like Christmas. I never knew what I would find on my doorstep. One morning it would be chocolate kisses; the next, green juice; then a cancer cookbook, blueberry muffins, and the list goes on. 

But my personal favorite was the mysterious shoe box that appeared on our stoop one morning. When I lifted the lid, I found a large battery that was sprouting a beautiful network of colorful wires, along with a battery charger (similar to what you would use to charge your car), and an instruction booklet. I also found a note from my friend explaining that she had created this contraption herself after reading a book that explained how it can help to cure cancer.

Apparently, if I were to attach one end of the charger to the battery and the other end to a part of my body, I would receive a “jolt” that purportedly would disturb my cancer cells and ultimately rid my body of them. My friend was a true believer that this contraption held within it the power to cure me of cancer.

I never tried it because when I showed it to my husband, he said, "Don't you dare use that thing and interrupt all the Jin Shin Jyutsu we've been doing.” So we kept it as a memento and an “objet d'art” until the day my friend stopped by to see if she could pass it along to another friend in need.

─Jill

Jennifer Omholt is the author of Just Diagnosed: A Survivor’s Guide to Navigating Cancer. A longtime journalist and 24-year cancer survivor, she writes about the emotional, practical, and medical challenges faced during the critical first weeks after diagnosis.